Suite à la fin de notre Série Un jour dans l'histoire du JV
Je vous propose une toute nouvelle série journalière pendant laquelle nous allons remonter le temps et voir tous les évènements historiques survenus à travers les âges sur notre belle planète !
Nous entrons dans le Vif du sujet du 21 au 25 Mars !
📆 21 mars
📜 Événements Historiques :
1556 : Thomas Cranmer, archevêque de Cantorbéry, est brûlé vif… après avoir tenté de se rétracter. L'Inquisition ? Pas très open-mind.
1804 : Napoléon adopte le Code civil, aussi appelé Code Napoléon. Tout le monde se met à dire "selon l’article 132…" même au bistrot.
1960 : Massacre de Sharpeville en Afrique du Sud. 69 morts.
💡 Inventions et Découvertes :
1952 : Naissance du premier ordinateur IBM à transistors. Il faisait la taille d’un frigo… et ne jouait même pas à Tetris.
2015 : Des chercheurs créent une bière à base d’urine recyclée. L’humanité peut arrêter la science ici, on a atteint le sommet.
😂 Actus Rigolotes :
1994 : En Floride, un homme cambriole une maison… et laisse sa carte de visite sur la table. Criminel oui, mais poli.
2020 : Un perroquet britannique insulte ses voisins pendant le confinement. Personne ne l’a dénoncé : il disait tout haut ce que tout le monde pensait.
📆 22 mars
📜 Événements Historiques :
1312 : Le pape dissout officiellement l’Ordre des Templiers. Leurs fans sur Reddit sont encore en colère.
1963 : Sortie de l’album "Please Please Me" des Beatles. Début de la Beatlemania, fin des coiffures sobres.
1997 : Les Comètes de Hale-Bopp et de Hyakutake brillent dans le ciel. Les astrologues s’emballent, les scientifiques sourient.
💡 Inventions et Découvertes :
1895 : Première projection de film par les frères Lumière. Le cinéma vient de naître, les spoilers aussi.
2006 : Lancement du premier réfrigérateur intelligent connecté. Il te dit quand t’as plus de lait. Et il te juge.
😂 Actus Rigolotes :
1991 : Un homme entre dans un zoo avec un sandwich… qu’un singe lui vole et mange devant lui, en le fixant intensément. L’humiliation ultime.
2019 : En Espagne, un chat devient maire honoraire d’un village. Il a assisté à 0 réunions, mais a dormi sur 12 dossiers importants.
📆 23 mars
📜 Événements Historiques :
1933 : Hitler fait adopter la loi des pleins pouvoirs.
1983 : Reagan annonce l’Initiative de défense stratégique, surnommée "Star Wars". Sauf qu’il n’y a pas de Jedi dedans, juste des lasers flippants.
2001 : La station spatiale MIR est désorbitée. Elle finit dans le Pacifique, paix à ses circuits.
💡 Inventions et Découvertes :
1857 : Brevet du premier ascenseur de sécurité. Merci Otis, sans toi, on serait tous restés au rez-de-chaussée.
2011 : Invention de la pizza imprimée en 3D. Personne ne sait si c’est du génie ou un crime contre l’Italie.
😂 Actus Rigolotes :
2002 : Un homme en Écosse vole une voiture… et appelle la police parce qu’il ne sait pas comment l’arrêter.
2021 : Une chèvre entre dans une salle de classe en Inde et mange les devoirs de tout le monde. Enfin une excuse 100% véridique.
📆 24 mars
📜 Événements Historiques :
1603 : Mort de la reine Elizabeth Ire. Fin de la dynastie Tudor, début du drama dynastique.
1882 : Robert Koch découvre le bacille de la tuberculose. Spoiler : c’est pas une mascotte sympa.
1999 : Début des frappes de l’OTAN au Kosovo.
💡 Inventions et Découvertes :
1958 : Lancement du premier satellite météo américain. Il prédit la pluie avec 73% d’exactitude… comme mamie.
2014 : Un étudiant japonais crée une cuillère qui détecte l’umami. L’inventeur a sûrement très faim.
😂 Actus Rigolotes :
2006 : Un homme tente de voler un tableau… en le cachant sous son manteau… dans un musée surveillé par 48 caméras.
2022 : En Australie, un kangourou s’introduit dans un hôpital. Il saute dans le couloir puis… repart. Sans un mot.
📆 25 mars
📜 Événements Historiques :
421 : Fondation légendaire de Venise. Qui aurait cru que des poteaux dans une lagune allaient donner une ville romantique ?
1957 : Signature du traité de Rome, fondation de la CEE (future Union européenne). On trinque à l’amitié franco-italo-germano-hispano-etc.
1965 : Fin de la marche de Selma à Montgomery avec Martin Luther King. Un pas immense pour les droits civiques.
💡 Inventions et Découvertes :
1901 : Première utilisation de la voiture électrique dans une course officielle. Elle a perdu, mais en silence.
2010 : Des chercheurs découvrent une méduse immortelle. Elle s'appelle Turritopsis dohrnii. Et non, on peut pas l’adopter.
😂 Actus Rigolotes :
1993 : Un homme se coince dans une cheminée… en essayant de rentrer chez lui sans ses clés.
2023 : Une IA crée un poème d’amour… à une imprimante. Le début d’une relation toner-to-toner.
Tout savoir sur les nouveaux Legion 7 Un gros GG a GoLLuM13 pour ce guide !
L'ours le plus joueur de tous les temps !
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