[DoctorEldritch]

Hello Legion Gamers!

February is the month of Love in Legion, and all the forms it can take, be it friendship or romantic affection. But love is by no means limited by just those 2 aspects, so today I thought to remember a type of love that receives less attention, but is equally if not more vital: the love for yourself.

It is important to take a moment and appreciate yourself and remember all the extraordinary things that make you you, be it your talent, achievement, character feature, or anything else. You may share those insights if you wish or keep them closer to your chest, after all, love, even love for yourself, can be a very private and personal thing. Just please spare a moment in your day to remind yourself that you deserve your love!

And to make this reflection a bit easier, here are some quotes:

[DracoTarot]

[Saka]

[DoctorEldritch]

This one goes out to everyone but especially @DracoTarot:

[DracoTarot]

@DoctorEldritch Aww! Thanks so much. This means a lot. It's still a bit hard sometimes to see my own worth but I do know there is a reason I'm still standing and have the strength to push harder. It's just a struggle to find inner peace. My parents are my pillars of strength and I'm grateful their positive energies are around me.

This is how I felt most of the time and realized (I'm not alone).

Just a scar somewhere down inside of me. Something I can not repair. Even though it will always be. I pretend it isn't there (this is how I feel).

I'm trapped in yesterday (just stay out of my way). Where the pain is all I know (this is all I know). And I'll never break away (can't break free).

Cause, when I'm alone. I'm lost in these memories. Living behind my own illusion.Lost all my dignity. Living inside my own confusion.

But I'm tired, I will always be afraid. Of the damage, I've received. Broken promises they made. And how blindly I believed (this is all I know).

I will never break away (can't break free). Cause when I'm alone!

[Saka]

@DracoTarot Good that you have a support network in your family. Perhaps friends too? When you feel you need a shoulder to lean on, don't be afraid to reach out to your network. They are there to help.

There's too much negativity in the talk about scars in general. I don't like how people perceive it as something to be ashamed of. I got some recently due to something unforeseen that I could do nothing about and I am still struggling to accept them. It does not help when people tell me I should hide them.

[DoctorEldritch]

@Saka when it comes to scars, I really like the Japanese art of Kintsugi and the philosophy behind it. The art itself is mending broken pottery (or other things) with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold (or other precious metal):



But, as with most things Japanese or Oriental, there is a deep philosophical component to it, in this case, cracks and mending are part of an object's history and it is worth it to embrace such imperfections to truly see the object.

And it works very elegantly with human beings. A very healthy art and philosophy, I think.

On a slightly related note, do you mend your cards when they wear off, @DracoTarot?

[Saka]

@DoctorEldritch It seems like a long time ago, but in reality it was about a couple of years ago when I talked with a friend about my past traumas and she told me about kintsugi and how she liked it. Little did I know of the imminent disaster that was about to happen. But I digress.

The golden lines sealing the cracks are beautiful. While one can't erase the trauma or the scars, they can be worked on and altered. Tame demons are at least easier to handle.

[DracoTarot]

@Saka I'm proud of some of my scars and do not hesitate to show them off. It's always good to talk about some setbacks. It helps a lot especially when another person is going through the same things.

In my case, I do have scars ripped wide open again that I thought would not be visible anymore. It's all caused by external factors influencing my daily life in a very negative way. @DoctorEldritch would know what I'm talking about.

Apologies for being a negative nanny. It's not my intention. It's just this time is extremely hard to get up and dust myself off.



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@DoctorEldritch The broken pieces are what makes us beautiful I guess and Kintsugi is a good example.

I never needed to mend cards before. Most of them are good quality and do not fade or tear easily. Even the old deck I told you about I received from a lady who passed away is still pristine after all these years.

There are some cheap sets out there I would recon wouldn't last long that's why I'm picky when selecting a deck before purchase. Maybe one of these days my collection would have to find a new home.

[Saka]

Originally Posted by DracoTarot

In my case, I do have scars ripped wide open again that I thought would not be visible anymore. It's all caused by external factors influencing my daily life in a very negative way. @DoctorEldritch would know what I'm talking about.

Unfortunately I have that experience too. It is never easy. I found it difficult to talk about too, because there are not many people who would just listen without being judgemental. I don't need "advice" that wouldn't suit me, yet some people in my circle feel obliged to have a response no matter what, even if they really don't know what to do about the situation. It is so frustrating.

Right now I am waiting to have another surgery to improve my quality of life, hopefully the last one for a long time. It is risky because of what happened with the prior procedures. The doctors think it should be okay, but nobody knows for sure. Part of my family then thinks it is a good idea to tell me that perhaps I shouldn't take the risk and just settle with what I have. With very little reflection on what my daily reality actually looks like right now.

I know what path I am going to take regardless, but it makes me less certain and my anxiety starts whispering that again I might win the less-than-1%-chance of the procedure turning out to be a complete disaster.

But I want to be able to live my life and enjoy it. I want to participate in the world around better and have a voice that is heard, to call out for making the world more accessible and a safe space for everyone, minorities included.

I am a disabled immigrant, and a woman, in a country that still struggles to get out of the 90s mentally. A lot of the empowerment, inspiration and whatnot are just empty words with little action behind it. Outside of Helsinki there's not much done to help foreigners settle down. You can guess it, I live in a city that is quite far from Helsinki, and unfortunately has a lot of things backwards.

2022 was the worst time in my life, and even when I was at my lowest, I still had to fight with people who only heard the world "accessibility" from a book read long ago or something along those lines. It was extremely frustrating and cost me a lot of tears, my sanity would've been lost if not for some people I still had close to me, however... I think it was worth it. I've been able to make some changes, and although they don't bear my name on it nor did I get recognition, it makes me happy that in some places the world will be easier for people with disabilities.

I've learned that persistence can go a long way. You can make people change their outlook by just constant polite interactions. Yesterday I noticed that someone who was relying on others to tell me things actually made active effort to speak to me when we both had armour on. And it was just a couple of times when I needed extra clarification. It will likely get even better too.

I made my disability a tame monster rather than something he perceived as scary. He stopped worrying too much about misunderstandings - they can be cleared if needed. A little bit of extra effort and the whole team dynamic is a lot better.

The voices of doubt are a poison. If we succumb to them, we won't achieve things.

You have nothing to apologize for. Sometimes 💙💙💙💙's just hard. I hope you will find your way through the maze of difficulties!